A “Steel Man” is all about empathy.
A steel man is not who you ARE. It is something you DO. It is something you can CREATE if you master your emotions, listen attentively, and take a long term view of your relationships.
A “steel man” is the strongest version of the argument made against your own position. Your opponent appreciates the empathy, feels fully heard, and establishes a common foundation for collaboration on solutions. (Plus you might learn something!)
A “straw man” is the opposite. It’s a deliberately weakened / ridiculous version of their argument to make your own position look like the only sane option. This approach is disrespectful and short-sighted.
Think about what happens after today’s disagreement. What is the impact on your relationships with colleagues, clients or even your spouse? Did you help them look smart and constructive? Or did you treat them like evil idiots?
Steel men arguments are more than just “nice”. They are super-effective for YOU.
Once you make the strongest possible steel man argument, what happens? There is no need for your opponent to debate further. Their concerns are acknowledged openly. They form the basis upon which you can build plans collaboratively. You can address the issues they raised, or you can “go on record” as accepting those risks and taking accountability if they create the downsides your opponent predicted:
“Yes, I acknowledge that regulators may consider this process too light in this regard. I will make sure your concerns are noted to management when we present the project plan, and I will personally address the regulators on this point in our next inspection/audit.”
It is rare that an entire team will have enthusiastic consensus on a unified project plan. The “steel man” approach will tie up loose ends and get everyone on board without a “win-lose” dynamic and hurt feelings.
When engaging in debates, aim to make “steel man” arguments instead of “straw man” arguments. Steel man arguments demonstrate empathy, strengthen understanding, and eliminate the need for continuous back-and-forth. This approach creates a solid foundation for constructive, collaborative dialogue moving forward. Embrace the strength of steel, not the fragility of straw. hashtag#Empathy hashtag#Collaboration hashtag#EffectiveCommunication hashtag#SteelManArguments
